The best way to experience Stockholm is to travel like a megastar.
Your first port of call has to be be one of the world’s coolest megastar hotspots, Arlanda Airport. Ideally you need to land by private jet. Or even better, two jets, like Vladimir Putin. The Emperor of Japan came in his Boing 747s. Barak Obama came in Air Force One. If you don’t have a jet, then go to Bromma Airport, where you can hire their Gulfstream G550.
VIPs can go through their dedicated security check and avoid the queues and the limosine can pick them up from there so they don’t have to mix with ordinary people.
Now, at Arlanda VIP lounge, they even offer a wedding service. That may not sound romantic, but it’s cool for VIPs. The staff take care of all the practical details whilst you relax with your friends. They will meet them off their flights and bring them to you and within minutes you can be enjoying a glass of champagne and canapes, whilst they take care of your passports and tiresome custom formalities. Then you can get straight onto your VIP flight on honeymoon.
But who can resist a few days on the tranquil archipelago? Make sure you have booked a few black Mercedes minbuses for you and your luggage to take you to the prestigious Berns hotel. This is standard practice for Kanye West. Berns is the hotel of choice because of its secretive door, so you can make a discreet entrance. Stockholmers have always considered it their very own living room. Even back in 1863, they were dancing on the tables and hosting cabarets. Marlene Dietrich and Ella Fitzgerald used to stay in room 431. In 1968 Diana Ross & the Supremes performed there live, and more recently Rihanna chose their intimate stage to perform ‘Stay’ amongst other iconic tracks. And you should follow her advice.
Whilst on route to Berns, you must stop off at Spotify’s HQ, on the West Higgens Road, the music streaming sensational success story and place to be seen. Ashton Kutcher set that trend. That will be enough sight seeing for one trip.
The Grand Escalier at Stureplan has served brunch to kings, presidents and Kanye West, who chose oysters, but then went for a burger and ketchup.
Do then follow in Princess Madeleine of Sweden’s footsteps and head to the aptly named bar-club Riche, to mingle with the glitterati of Stockholm.
After that you need to have a quick look in the mirror and may find you need the Blue Medi Spa treatment that is Miranda Kerr’s, Madonna’s and Desperate Housewives staple, called Oxygen Intraceuticals. Fine lines are filled, the skin is immediately moisturized, and stretched!
That will be enough for one stay, and as Kanye said on leaving this glittering city on water, ‘I want to thank everyone for making this trip The Shit’.
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